Chuck vs the Biological Clock
by mxpw
Summary: Carina drops a bomb on Chuck during a dinner one night and makes a special request. As a result, Chuck's life is turned upside down. Very loosely based off my DA AU. So an AU of an AU. That's right. Written as a special Christmas present for malamoo.


**Author's Note**: Okay, so this story is a bit cracky and crazy. But it was a special Christmas gift for my friend **malamoo** and this is expressly what she requested. She wanted this, so that's what she got. It was not an easy story to write, but I guess she's worth the effort. I hope you enjoy it as much as I hope she will. A big thanks goes to Wepdiggy for a lot of help and for giving me my ending. Without your help, I probably would have missed my deadline and made a lamb very disappointed. So thanks!

Now this is very important for you guys to understand the context of this story. This was _inspired_ by, but not based off of, my _Double Agent_ universe. Think of it like an AU of an AU. I know that might be confusing but...moo understands and it's what she wanted so that's how it is.

Merry Christmas to everyone and I hope you all have a happy New Year. A special happy holidays to my taskmaster, hope you like your gift.

* * *

Chuck took a bite of his pasta and chewed slowly. He watched curiously as Carina continued to be preoccupied. It wasn't like her to be so unfocused and oblivious to what was going on around her. Nor was it like her to be such a quiet dinner companion.

He was a little confused. This dinner had been Carina's idea, but since they had sat down, she had barely paid any attention to him. It wasn't that he needed her to focus completely on him, it was just strange.

"Carina, is everything okay?"

"Hmm?" Carina finally stopped looking at whatever she was looking at and gave him a smile.

"You seem distracted, is everything okay?" he asked again.

Carina frowned slightly. "Of course, why do you ask?"

"It's just…you're being a lot quieter than usual."

Carina pursed her lips and then sucked a noodle into her mouth, making loud slurping noises. She grinned at him and then licked her lips. "I'm just thinking about stuff."

Chuck rolled his eyes at Carina's display quickly and tried to joke, "You? Think?"

"Ha-ha-ha, Chuckles," Carina said sarcastically. "I do occasionally form my own thoughts."

"Yeah, but they usually involve you and somebody else with no clothes on."

"Is that a proposition, Chuck?"

Chuck's eyes widened and he shook his head emphatically. "No! Do you always have to go there?"

"Seeing how it's the only way I can get you in said clothes-less state, yes I do."

Chuck chose to wisely ignore that statement and move onto safer topics. "So what are you thinking about?"

"Honestly?"

Chuck nodded his head and took a bite of his pasta.

"The new school bond measure."

Chuck had been taking another mouthful of delicious pasta up to his mouth when she spoke; the fork never completed its assent. "Seriously?"

"It's important to prepare our children properly for the future," Carina said. Then she clucked her tongue in disapproval. "Don't tell me you don't support Measure R, Chuck."

"Um…um…" Chuck had no idea what to say.

"Chuck!" she scolded. "We need to fund our schools better, especially here in Los Angeles."

"But Carina, you don't even have children." This was easily the weirdest conversation he'd ever had with Carina, and considering that Carina had once forced him into discussing with her his favorite sexual position, that was saying something. "And are you even technically a resident of California?"

"Technically, yes, although it would be kind of voter fraud if I actually voted." She cocked her head to the side and then said, "Or would it? I've never really thought about it to be honest."

"I'm not sure I really understand what's going on here," Chuck stated, more than a little confused.

"What do you think is a good name for a boy?"

"I've always been kind of partial to Chuck," he tried to joke, too weirded out by the turn of the conversation to attempt anything more.

Carina nodded her head and said distractedly, "I've always been partial to Chuck myself, but I also kind of like Luke or Michael. And then there's always Marie or Laurie for a girl."

"Is there any particular reason why you're thinking of baby names?"

"Just thinking about the different ways I'm going to decorate the nursery."

"What nursery? Baby names? Honestly, Carina, you're not making any sense." Chuck was really starting to get frustrated with her. Not to mention a little worried about her current mental health. Carina Hansen talking about kids? He should probably check outside to see if the sun was setting in the east; he was positive that he was in some kind of alternate universe.

Carina sighed and looked down at the tabletop. She started to fiddle with her spoon, turning it over then turning it back, repeating the motion for several quiet seconds. "The Girl Scouts, you know, they teach you to be prepared," she said in a quiet, surprisingly vulnerable voice.

"Ooookaaaay," Chuck drew out.

She still wouldn't look at him. "And I'm an attractive woman, Chuck. Sometimes I do manage to meet a guy. We have sex. Stuff could happen."

Chuck shifted awkwardly in his chair and now it was him who wouldn't look at Carina. He really didn't want to be talking about Carina's sex life. He wasn't even sure what it had to do with the current topic of conversation.

"Carina," Chuck started to say but then stopped and swallowed. "It's great that you are being responsible and acknowledging the risks," God he felt like his father, "but what does anything have to do with me?"

"I'm just thinking out loud." She flushed slightly and then said, "Hey, you asked me what I was thinking."

Chuck blinked and bobbed his head slowly. "That's true, I did." He took a bite and chewed slowly. After swallowing carefully, he tried to choose his next words carefully, "But can I ask what brought this sudden topic up in your mind?"

"It's not that sudden," Carina mumbled.

"What was that?" Chuck could have sworn she had alluded to this not being a random train of thought. As scary as that was, it was still better than knowing she had been thinking about this for a while now.

Carina glared at him fiercely and said defiantly, far too loud, "It's not that sudden."

"Really?"

"Yes," she said sullenly.

"But I mean…why?"

"Can't a woman think about kids?"

"Well…sure, but I mean…you…why?" Chuck was starting to feel really lost.

Carina sighed and looked down at the table again. "Chuck, I think I want to have a baby."

Chuck comically spit out the mouthful of water he had just been about to drink. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and carefully set his glass of water onto the table.

"Excuse me?"

"I want to have a family," Carina elaborated.

"We all want that," Chuck agreed.

"I mean, you're my family," Carina said matter of fact. "But I think I want more."

"Er…Carina, you know that we're not really…you know," Chuck said awkwardly and averted his eyes. This had always been a sore subject between them.

This conversation was just getting weirder and weirder. He pinched his arm underneath the table. Yup, still awake.

"Really, Chuck? I had no idea," Carina said with a roll of her eyes.

"Then I don't understand."

"I love you and you love me," Carina said like she was explaining things to a child.

"Well…yes, but like I love Ellie…" Chuck's voice trailed off.

One of Carina's thin eyebrows rose. "Oh? Do you and Ellie usually sleep together?"

"What!? No! Of course not!" Chuck blurted out. He suddenly felt sick to his stomach at the thought.

"Then I'd say you don't really love me like you do Ellie."

"That happened one time, Carina!"

"I know," Carina said with a soft smile. "Wasn't it great?"

Chuck could feel his cheeks heating. "It was nice, yes, but it was also years ago." He sighed and licked his lips nervously. "I thought we had come to an understanding?"

"Was it really so bad that you don't want to do it again?"

"That's not the issue, and you know it."

"It's her, isn't it?" Carina growled and her striking gray eyes narrowed.

"I like her," Chuck said.

"Why? Because she has bigger boobs?" Carina asked harshly.

"My liking Sarah has nothing to do with her outward appearance," Chuck immediately defended. He was getting so used to the familiar denial that it slipped out with barely any prompting.

"That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard," Carina muttered.

"How many times do I have to say it?" Chuck asked in a tired voice. "Look, you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, Carina. Honestly, if I only cared about a woman's looks, you and I would not be having this conversation."

Carina's eyes brightened and she grinned. "You think I'm prettier than Sarah?"

"Now Carina, that's not exactly what I said," Chuck immediately began to hedge.

Carina laughed musically. "I cannot wait to tell her you said that."

"Carina!"

Carina rolled her eyes and smirked. "Oh relax, Chuck, your secret is safe with me."

Chuck couldn't help letting out a sigh of relief. Things were tenuous enough between Carina and Sarah that he didn't really need to be contributing fresh material to their rivalry. "What brought this desire for kids on anyway?"

Carina looked at something behind him, a faint smile on her face. "There is a little boy behind you. He has curly hair and big brown eyes. I just saw him and it hit me…that's probably what you looked like as a child. And it got me thinking…if I ever had a kid, that's what I'd want him to look like."

"Okay," Chuck said slowly. He turned his head to get a good look at the boy and was struck by a certain resemblance. The boy really did remind him of the child who would stare back at him from the pictures in his family photo albums.

He faced Carina again and tried his best not to look confused and scared, but the implications in Carina's statement were kind of overwhelming. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I would think the answer was obvious."

"Carina, you're my best friend but…I mean…we're not even dating," he whispered. He wasn't sure why he was whispering, but he suddenly felt very self-conscious about this whole conversation and didn't want anyone else in the restaurant to overhear. Carina was asking him to be a _father_. He was so not ready for that responsibility.

Carina smirked and fingered her knife resting on the table. "Don't really need to be dating, just need 20 free minutes and a bed." She leaned forward and said huskily, "The bed part is, of course, negotiable." She grabbed the edge of the table and rocked it slightly, it barely moved. "This table looks pretty sturdy."

"Carina!" he blurted out mortified. He definitely knew he was blushing now.

She sat back down and laughed, her eyes sparkling with mirth. "You're so predictable."

"Carina, I'm not going to have sex with you."

"Why not?" Carina pouted.

"Because!" Chuck stared at Carina in disbelief. "I can't believe I even have to explain to you why."

"I'm sure if we sat down and explained things to Sarah, she'd understand."

Chuck let out an incredulous laugh. "Are we talking about the same Sarah here?"

"But Chuck, I want a family. I want kids."

"Then find the right person and you will. But I can't be that person for you."

Carina sighed dejectedly. "I had a feeling you'd say something like that. That's okay, I can convince you to change your mind."

# # # # #

Chuck was trying very hard to concentrate on the NIE in front of him, but Carina was not making it easy.

"So how about it?"

"No."

"It'll be fun and exciting."

"No."

"I promise you'll enjoy yourself."

"No."

"Sarah never has to know."

"No."

"I swear I'll never tell."

"No, Carina."

"Why not?" she whined.

"Because," Chuck said. Then he sighed tiredly and rubbed the heel of his hand into his eyes.

"Please?"

"No," he droned.

Ever since their dinner, it had been the same thing every day. Carina would ask and he would say no. Then she would ask again, and again he would say no. He knew what she was doing and he was starting to fear that it might work. He had already contemplated saying yes to her just so that she'd leave him alone.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Carina said in exasperation.

"Really?" Chuck asked in disbelief. "You don't think it's just a little weird?"

"Why?" Carina responded tersely. "You don't believe I'll be a good mother, do you?"

"I didn't say that."

"No, but you're thinking it!" she accused.

Chuck faced Carina head-on and tried not to roll his eyes. "Carina, I think you'll be a great mother. When you're ready," he emphasized. He then added somewhat self-consciously, "But frankly, neither of us is properly equipped or ready to be parents. The idea terrifies me." And then he did roll his eyes. "And oh yeah, there's the small fact that we're not even in a relationship together."

So far he had managed to keep Carina's little request from Sarah, but he was dreading the day where it inevitably got out. He didn't relish that conversation. There was likely to be screaming, accusations, and multiple threats of physical violence. And that was only if Sarah took the news _calmly_.

"I already explained to you that I'm not interested in a relationship, okay? At least not with you."

Chuck threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "Then why are you even asking me?"

"Because you're a good lay?" Carina said hopefully.

Chuck couldn't help it, he laughed weakly and shook his head. "Do you really think that's going to convince me?"

"It's true though!" Carina argued. She leaned forward and placed her hand on his arm.

He looked up from his papers and glared at Carina. "You're not going to convince me to do this just by appealing to my ego."

Carina sighed and removed her warm hand from his skin. "Why can't you just be a normal man for once?"

"A normal man would have run for the hills the second you started talking about wanting to procreate."

She hit his arm and pouted, "We would have beautiful kids."

"Honestly, Carina, there are much better looking men out there." He gave up completely on finishing the NIE before he somehow concluded today's current baby conversation. He faced Carina completely and softened his gaze so that he wasn't appearing quite so hostile. She was still his friend and he still cared a great deal for her.

"It's not just about looks. If it were, I'd…" she shuddered and looked sick, "ask Bryce."

Chuck laughed out loud and shook his head in disbelief. "You and Bryce are never going to get along, are you?"

"Oh God, Chuck, he's such a tool. I don't know how you two ever became friends."

"He has his good qualities," Chuck said with a chuckle.

Carina's eyes got a mischievous quality to him and he found himself immediately grow suspicious. She was about to do or say something he wouldn't like. "Speaking of good qualities, I've noticed he and Sarah have been acting very friendly the last few weeks."

"Compared to you, Carina, anybody who says hi to Bryce without smacking him in the face is 'friendly'."

"You don't think it's weird how much time they've been spending together?" It was obvious she was trying to appear nonchalant, not looking at him and instead focusing on her own report for once.

"She has been training with Bryce, of course they are spending a lot of time together," Chuck said tightly. He could hear a small amount of anger enter his voice. He couldn't believe that she had resorted to _this_, although he really shouldn't be surprised. Carina had always believed in never holding back in going after what she wanted.

"You know, I overheard Bryce and Sarah talking about hitting the showers the other day." She leaned forward and whispered, "_Together_."

Chuck rolled his eyes and tried to control the tone of his voice. "Carina, just stop. There is nothing going on between Bryce and Sarah."

"But if there were…" she started to say but didn't get far as he glared at her.

"Even if for some reason Sarah and I didn't work out, even if I came running to you, even if we could last in a relationship without killing each other, even if all that happened, I still wouldn't say yes."

"Ever?" she gaped at him.

"Not for a long time."

"Wow, Chuck, you really know how to depress a girl."

"Why is it so important to you that it's me?"

"Because," Carina said quietly.

"Don't you want to at least hold out hope that someday you might find somebody you want to share this with?"

Carina sighed and leaned back in her chair, looking up at the ceiling. "I have."

"Carina, that person is not me."

Carina sat up straight and scowled at him. "Why do you think I'm talking about you?" He just looked at her steadily until she growled, "Fine! It's you."

Chuck tried to lighten the mood, "I know I'm kind of awesome and everything, but why me?"

Carina rolled her eyes but she did smile so mission accomplished. "I had this dream a few nights ago that I was in the hospital and I had a little baby boy in my arms. He opened his eyes and I couldn't even breathe, it was just this amazing sense of clarity washed across my mind and I knew that I wanted this."

She grabbed his hand and squeezed gently. "You're my best friend," she stated without hesitation. Her eyes were locked on his and she didn't look away or fidget or show any sign that she wasn't completely serious. "And I can't imagine anyone else I'd want to share that experience with more than you."

# # # # #

He answered his cell phone on the fifth ring. He wished he hadn't.

"Charles Irving Bartowski!" Ellie's shrill voice burrowed into his ear, "What the hell is this I hear about Carina being pregnant and you're the father!?"

"What!? No!"

Oh my God, Carina had told her. She had threatened to do it, and she had actually followed through. He had thought she was bluffing!

"You get your ass over here right now and explain to me what the hell is going on," Ellie ordered. And it was clear that it was an order. If he had any hope of getting out of this situation, he needed to get over to Ellie's fast.

"I'll be right over," he said wearily. He then hung up and grabbed his car keys.

Oh yeah, this was going to be fun.

He got in his car and thought about all the many different ways he could spin the forthcoming conversation without further worsening Carina's relationship with his sister. He didn't know why he was going to cover for her, but he knew it probably had something to do with him being a sucker.

He climbed out of his car with a heavy sigh and shuffled reluctantly to Ellie's apartment. He was being ridiculous. It wasn't like Ellie was actually going to kill him, so why was he feeling like he was on the way toward his own funeral? Probably because now that Ellie knew it would only be a matter of hours before Sarah found out, if she didn't know already.

He hadn't even knocked on the door before it was yanked open and Ellie was standing in the doorway, clearly upset. She reached out, grabbed his arm, and pulled him inside without saying a word. He yelped in surprise as he passed over the threshold.

"Ellie," Chuck said. His sister didn't respond, only kept pulling him until she had pushed him down onto the couch. "Ellie," he tried again but got nowhere.

"Explain," Ellie demanded. She had her hands on her hips and a fierce glare on her face. He was reminded of a much earlier time when he would get that look from his sister after Morgan had done something ridiculous and stupid and he had tried to cover for his friend.

Chuck shrugged helplessly. "Honestly, Ellie, I have no idea why Carina is saying this."

"She's not actually pregnant, is she? Please tell me she's not pregnant."

"No!" he blurted. "At least not by me. I haven't touched her, I swear."

"Then why is she going around telling everybody that she's pregnant and you're the father?"

"Because she's gone a little insane?"

"I told you!" Ellie said and smacked him upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Chuck whined and rubbed his head.

"For being friends with a crazy person."

"You never did that for Morgan."

Smack.

"Thanks for reminding me."

Chuck scrambled off the couch and put some distance between himself and Ellie. "I'm dealing with the problem, okay? I'm trying to convince her that she's just not ready for this kind of step yet."

Ellie crossed her arms and gave him a very stern look. "She sounded very sincere." She paused and took a deep breath, a worried look on her face. "And what about Sarah, Chuck? I really like her."

"Sarah and I are still going strong," Chuck said and shifted awkwardly in place. He still wasn't very comfortable talking to other people about his relationship with Sarah.

"Don't you think she'll have a problem with you and Carina becoming parents?"

"For the last time, Carina is not pregnant!"

Ellie stared at him for a long time and he did his best to avoid her piercing glare. "We obviously need to have a long talk about this. Sit down," Ellie ordered and pointed to the couch.

Chuck sighed and did as he was told. This was going to be a long night.

# # # # #

"So Chuck, I was reading in the _New England Journal of Medicine_ last night about the best time to conceive a child."

"Uh-huh," Chuck said. He had given up on responding to Carina in any meaningful way now and just did his best to appear as if he was listening.

"And it said that the best position for conception is doggie style."

"Uh-huh."

"And we would need to do it like 10 times a day."

"Of course."

"Sarah said she would totally help us."

"Right," Chuck said with a nod. He flipped through the magazine he was reading.

"Bryce also said he wouldn't mind if he knocked Sarah up as well."

All Chuck heard was Bryce, Sarah, and knocked up, but it was enough to snap him right to attention. "What!?" he blurted.

Carina rolled her eyes and slapped his shoulder. "_Now_ you pay attention! How predictable."

Chuck scowled at Carina. "Well maybe if you actually said something I hadn't already heard a million times, I might have a reason to focus."

"Jesus, what crawled up your ass?"

"Sarah still won't talk to me thanks to you!" Chuck snapped and sent his magazine flying across the table in frustration. Just like he had predicted, Sarah had found out about Carina going around telling people about her desire for children only hours after Ellie had found out. Somehow, despite being fairly confident that Ellie had not told her, Sarah had still found out. His guess was that Casey had listened to the surveillance in Ellie's apartment and had "accidentally" let it slip to Sarah what was going on.

He would have to make sure to thank Casey later.

"Sorry," Carina said with a smirk, obviously unsympathetic.

Chuck grumbled under his breath and then asked, "How much longer are you going to do this?"

"Until you give in."

"I'm not going to have sex with you. Even if I wanted to, the fact that you want to have a baby means there is no way it's going to happen." Chuck leaned forward and rested his head on the table top. He tried to breathe evenly. "You think making my life miserable is going to make me do what you want?"

Carina grinned and ran a hand down his back slowly, causing him to shiver, and then moved her hand back up to his shoulder. She began to massage it slowly. He couldn't help it, it felt so good. His life had been nothing but stress for more than a week now and it felt like it had all taken residence in his shoulders and back. "It's always worked for me in the past."

"Awwww, look at the two love birds."

Chuck heard Casey's voice come from behind him. He snapped up, Carina's hand flying off, and spun around in his chair to glare at Casey. Casey was smirking, clearly enjoying his ability to gloat, and said, "Well don't stop on my account, but if you want to be able to actually produce little Bartowskis in the future, I'd put some distance between you two."

Chuck was soon clued in to exactly what Casey meant when Sarah suddenly appeared behind the hulking man.

"What the hell is she doing here?" growled Sarah.

"I'm his partner," Carina huffed. "Why wouldn't I be here?"

"Skanky bitch," Sarah muttered.

"Frigid slut," Carina muttered right back.

Chuck needed to settle things before Carina and Sarah really got going. This was their first true confrontation since Carina's plan had become common knowledge and he knew how easily the two of them could devolve into a shouting, pushing, and clawing match.

"Sarah, please, I told you, I have not nor will I ever sleep with Carina again. And I'm certainly not going to father her child."

"Fiiiiiiiine," Carina drawled. "You can go to a spank bank and make a deposit." She whirled on Sarah and glared at her. Then she sighed and said dramatically, "Are you happy? Look at the sacrifices I'm making because of you!"

Chuck just stared at Carina in horror. He couldn't believe she had gone there. Well, he could believe it; he wasn't even sure why he was surprised, but still… She really had no censor on her mouth. "I'm not going to do that either!"

Sarah stormed right up to the two of them and pushed him violently away from Carina. She now stood where his chair used to be. She raised herself to her full height and placed her hands on her hips. "Listen up, bitch, Chuck is mine and he's not going to be doing any touching or depositing period. That belongs to me."

Carina just rolled her eyes and stood up. "You'll see. I'll wear him down eventually."

Sarah spun around to glare at him while Casey simply chuckled from the peanut gallery. "Why the hell do you like her so much again?" Sarah asked. She didn't wait for an answer, walking away from him without another look.

# # # # #

Chuck trudged into his bedroom and wearily searched for the light switch with a wandering hand. After several seconds of just standing inside the doorway, numb and exhausted, his fingers finally latched onto the switch. With a flick of his index finger, the lights in his room turned on.

He continued walking forward, taking off his shirt as he did so. He was so tired. He hadn't been sleeping well since Carina went on her baby craze, too many nightmares and restless nights keeping him awake. It had only gotten worse when Sarah started avoiding him. Even though he knew that Sarah believed him that nothing was going to happen between him and Carina, she was still upset with him for being such close friends with Carina in the first place, and especially for being close enough that Carina considered him the only person possible to be a father to her children.

His head was down as he watched his feet shuffle, so he was very surprised when he heard a low whistle. He started and almost tripped over his feet in shock. Lying on his bed wearing nothing more than a very tiny, flimsy, lacy, red lingerie set, was Carina and she was looking at him like he was the lamb and she was the wolf.

"Well don't stop something you've already started," Carina grinned.

"Jesus, Carina…you scared me."

"Not quite right, but you're close. I prefer 'Oh God, Carina' but we can work our way up to that."

"You need to leave." Chuck said in a panic. "Please, Carina, I don't want Sarah to see this."

"Oh relax, Chuck, she's not going to be bothering us for a while. I made sure of that."

Chuck sat wearily on the edge of the bed and hung his head. He could feel the bed move and dip as Carina came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his chest and breathing into his ear. Her voice was low and throaty, "Just relax and let me take care of you."

Chuck sighed and leaned back slightly until his back was pressed firmly against Carina's chest. "Okay," he said in resignation.

He felt Carina's hands still and felt her lean away from his back. In surprise, she asked, "Really?"

Chuck turned around on the bed, grabbed Carina and pulled her onto his lap. She fit rather well and he placed his hands on her hips. He looked directly into her eyes and nodded his head. "I can't take it anymore. I'll give you what you want."

Carina's eyes widened and her mouth opened a little. "Oh wow, are you serious?"

"Of course. Like you said, you're my best friend and if this is that important to you then I should support you." He trailed his fingers slowly up her sides, making her shiver. He could feel her thighs quivering around him and her eyes slowly closed. She let out a barely audible moan as his hands stopped on her shoulders. He began to fiddle with the straps of her bra. "So are you ready?"

Carina shook like she had been jolted by electricity and opened her eyes. "Oh God, Chuck, I want to, I really do, but I can't do this."

"What do you mean? I thought this was what you wanted?"

"Weeeell…" Carina hedged, "only slightly."

"What does that mean?" He was still moving his hands up and down her torso and she was practically slumped against him now, his arms the only thing keeping her upright.

She bit her bottom lip and then sighed long. "It means I haven't exactly been honest with you these last few days."

"You haven't?"

"No." She placed her forehead against his and her warm breath merged with his. "I've kinda been lying."

"That's a big shock," Chuck said drily.

Carina chuckled and pulled back to look him in the eyes. "I wasn't serious, Chuck. I don't want to have a kid with you, or at all, really. It was just a joke."

"A joke?" Chuck gasped. "No!"

Carina stared at him and then started laughing so hard she fell off his lap and curled into a ball, her arms wrapped around her middle. "Oh my God, you knew!"

Chuck started to laugh too and fell to his side so that they were now both looking at each other.

"How the hell did you know?"

Chuck shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "I only suspected, actually, but thanks for confirming my suspicions."

Carina's mouth dropped open all the way and then she leaned forward and hit him in the arm. "You son of a bitch! I can't believe I just fell for that!"

Chuck scrambled out of Carina's reach and stood up. He danced a little in place and raised his arms in triumph. "I win." He smirked in smug satisfaction. "You thought you could fool me but I knew there was no way you'd actually want a kid."

"Hey!" Carina yelled indignantly. "I wasn't completely lying, you know."

Chuck rolled his eyes and said, "I'm sure, but most of it was."

"Yes," Carina said in dejection.

"Can I ask why you decided to make my life hell?"

"Because?" Carina did her best to look innocent, but the effect was severely hampered by the fact that she was still wearing lingerie and the image presented to him was pure sin.

"That's the best you can give me? Because?"

"Okay, okay," Carina grumbled. "Payback for choosing her?"

"Well…that's more you, but I still find it hard to believe that's the only reason why. And why this?"

"It was Sarah's idea!"

"WHAT!?"

"Er…I didn't say that."

"What the hell do you mean it was Sarah's idea?" Chuck demanded.

"Um…well, I mean the baby thing was all me but it was Sarah's idea to play the joke."

"You can't be serious."

Carina actually smirked then and got off the bed. She readjusted her clothing and cocked her hip to one side, looking at him with an unreadable look on her face. "Do you remember two months ago when you tricked Sarah into spending all day with your sister?" Chuck's eyes widened and he slowly nodded his head. "Well, she said to tell you that payback is a bitch."

"I don't believe it."

"Believe it."

Chuck just stared at Carina in continued disbelief. "And I assume she knows what you're doing here right now?"

"Again, her idea. And before you say anything, she knew you'd say no. I was supposed to confess when you turned me down."

"Hmmm…" Chuck said. This simply could not go unpunished. He walked right up to Carina and grabbed her arm, pulling her toward the rest of his apartment. "Come on, you're going to tell her I said yes."

"I am?"

"Oh yeah. And I'd work on your happy face if I were you, because you're about to become a mom."

Carina laughed and nodded her head. "She's going to kill you, you know that right?"

"You'll protect me."

"That I will." Carina leaned against his side and smiled at him.

* * *

The end.


End file.
